User Profile

i've completely changed the way i view the universe.
but not the underlying physics.

***

i think nothing of tumbling down stairs.
but i have trouble climbing them.

***

you are not dead yet, it's not too late
to open your depths by plunging into them
and drink in the life
that reveals itself quietly there

***

"you are a mystery shrouded in a conundrum wrapped by some heavy duty obfuscatory half-truths, misdirections, and other meaning-subverting devices"
-- all_unnecessary

reason for journal:
there was a time when people were in the habit of addressing themselves frequently and felt no shame at making a record of their inward transactions. but to keep a journal nowadays is considered a kind of self-indulgence, a weakness, and is in poor tastes. for this is an era of hardboiled-dom. today, the code of the athlete, of the tough boy -- an american inheritance, i believe, from the english gentleman -- that curious mixture of striving, asceticism, and rigor, the origins of which some trace back to alexander the great--is stronger than ever. do you have feelings? there are correct and incorrect ways of indicating them. do you have an inner life? it is nobody's business but your own. do you have emotions? strangle them. to a degree, everyone obeys this code. and it does admit of a limited kind of candor, a closemouthed straight-forwardness. but on the truest candor, it has an inhibitory effect. most serious matters are closed to the hard-boiled. they are unpracticed in introspection, and therefore badly equipped to deal with opponents whom they cannot shoot like big game or outdo in daring.

if you have difficulties, grapple with them silently, goes one of their commandments. to hell with that! i intend to talk about mine, and if i had as many mouths as siva has arms and kept them going all the time, i still could not do myself justice. in my present state of demoralization, it has become necessary for me to keep a journal--that is, to talk to myself--and i do not feel guilty of self-indulgence in the least. the hard-boiled are compensated for their silence; they fly planes or fight bulls or catch tarpon, whereas i rarely leave my room.

goals:
my goals?
my goals are to find a cure for irony
and make a fool out of god.

hobbies:
i enjoy making useful items out of non-useful things, like that one time i made an entire naval uniform out of kleenex box cozies.
parades. i like to rain on them.

behind the facade:
the dark essence of air behaving as water, such as a cold rain: a person gifted with both keen logic and natural intuition, giving them uncanny powers of perception and insight. one who easily sees the weakness in any argument, and savages friend and foe alike with biting sarcasm. dry and vicious wit covering a hollow sense of isolation and dissatisfaction with life.

if you can't place it: this is continuing in the saga of 'the underachieving skinny white dark-haired big-nosed guys that can't hold a girlfriend' story.

music (under construction):
i'm just tryin' to find/a decent melody/a song that i can sing/in my own company: acen, ben folds, bt, cake, counting crows, daft punk, dramarama, eve 6, faithless, fischerspooner, frente!, goldfinger, inxs, king missile, margot & the nuclear so and so's, mazzy star, messiah, mike doughty, moby, new order, nine inch nails, pink floyd, presidents of the united states of america, radiohead, regina spektor, robyn hitchcock, soul coughing, the beatles, the cure, the killers, the polyphonic spree, the refreshments, they might be giants, u2, underworld, weezer

some days i look/i look at you with eyes that shine/some days i don't: aimee mann, ani difranco, ben kweller, ben lee, dave matthews band, depeche mode, eminem, gang of four, kid lightning, kristin vigard, meryn cadell, morphine, pet shop boys, rem, the dead milkmen, third eye blind, tokyo ghetto pussy, tori amos

william shatner: william shatner

when you were young: archer avenue

getting to know you: bob dylan, joni mitchell, the sonics

only the good die young: blind melon, elliott smith, jim croce, joy division, material issue, the waitresses, tripping daisy

dancing to my stupid rhymes: freezepop

if you like to party/get on and move your body: venga boys

minor swing: belleruche

the revolution will be televised: emergency broadcast network

the day the music died: nirvana

fond, but not in love: pravada

once met: beautiful south, del amitri, luka bloom, pulnoc, the soft boys

do you think you're better off alone?: dave gahan

how did you think we'd get by without you?: the rentals

movies (under construction):

televison (under construction):

fiction (under construction):

nonfiction (under construction):