sitting out on the balcony with the laptop
first time really
the warming brilliant sun on my face
the boats on the blue blue river
the crowd at the park
the myriad cars and busses
the external world is the same as it ever was
only the internal world is experiencing violent upheaval
the balcony is a good place to be
it mirrors the internal precariousness
thin steel rails the only thing between
but acting without a net
is easier with the illusion of a net
everything is a matter of perspective
the other chair sits empty
the dilemmas are not new
they had just been pushed into the background
"could i have been anyone other than me?"
"i have lived so many lives all in my head"
"how each of us decides
i've never been sure
the part we play
the way we are"
"so close no matter how far
couldn't be much more from the heart
forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters"
i need to go for a run